Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Joy, conversation, and naming names

One of the things that has been going on the last few days is that God has been giving me joy. This is more impressive than it would be for some people. I know some people have joy all the time, and it's easy for them. But the last time I remember having joy was several years ago when God gave me joy and peace on my mission trip to Costa Rica. I guess all there is to say is, all things are possible for God. I am having trouble holding onto joy, so if anyone has ideas on how to do that I would be appreciative. And joy doesn't mean that there isn't depression. But God is powerful.

Another thing that you probably wouldn't know about me is that I am not much of a conversationalist. Yes, I talk a lot on my blog--but I talk about what interests me. Now imagine me in a social setting. Remember how your mother always said not to talk about politics and reliegion in polite company? Well, I don't have many other interests, unless you count miscarriage as another topic... and that still isn't polite conversation. So I try to avoid social engagements that don't involve gaming. Oh, I haven't mentioned I'm a geek, either. I am a geek. I like to play card games, trading card games, board games you have never heard of, computer games, and sometimes role-playing games. Most of the time I spent getting to know the man I married took place over a chessboard. I still go to social gatherings at my church--but more out of obligation than true enjoyment, and we tend to leave early (My husband is also not huge on socializing).

[Insert transition here]

Garrett, the baby I mentioned in my last post, died yesterday morning. The link I posted in that thread is still good.

Speaking of links...

I was looking back at my first post about Stand and Be Counted and realized that my email address was wrong. D'oh! I am a horrible blogger. Somehow, I have to publish a post before I proofread it, and then I will end up publishing it several more times due to mistakes. The email is now correct in that entry: y a e l c w _ at _ gmail __dot___ com.

If you are curious, Yael is not my real name, it's reverse-engineered from YCW. I do not want to publish my name on the internet, although if you really wanted you might be able to figure it out. But if you are a regular reader and want my real name, I am willing to share that information in a securer medium such as email. I am not trying to avoid responsibility for my words or beliefs. Be assured that there is a real person behind the alias, and that I don't have a whole lot of others out there. The only others were in my livejournal, where I no longer post because the community of people I know there are (in general) diametrically opposed to everything I believe in (part of why I started to blog and do so anonymously), and on one other blog where I began posting before I began being YCW. If you prefer something namier, feel free to call me Yael Christiana Waters.

I have a few post topics bumping around that I will probably get to eventually. I write them down so I will remember them, but then don't get around to posting... so hopefully that will happen soon....


Blogger Jenn said...

Thanks for inviting me, Jessi. It was great to talk. And I'm so glad that, in spite of everything, God is granting you joy.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Clay Feet said...

I have no idea of who or where you are, but I read your blog with interest. I have been learning a great deal about joy over the past few years, what it really is and how it is experienced. Since you asked for input I thought I would make myself available to share if you would like to know.
Enjoyed your page. I am so sorry about your personal losses over the past few years. That has to be very devastating emotionally. But you may actually have been learning more about joy through those experiences than you suspect.

1:36 PM  

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