Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Depression

I can tell I am starting to get depressed again.

The good thing is that I can tell. I am completely aware that it is some sort of hormonal thing. Before, I was depressed for a reason, and that could have been a part of it. Now, I am so in love with my new baby and my wonderful husband that almost nothing in my life could be better. I am happy. Sometimes I am just full of joy, and it's a wonderful feeling, and I don't want to lose it. But that depression is creeping back again, and honestly, if it's just a hormonal imbalance, I have no problem, theologically, with treating it. Now I know how I feel when I am not depressed, so I am not afraid of changing who I am.

So maybe I should get some sort of evaluation? Should I be on drugs? If all I need is some sort of drugs to make my hormones work, that wouldn't be a danger to a baby, I would think. My other options include: 1. Getting pregnant again (and if it were that easy, I would be); or 2. Lots of feel-good-horomone-releasing activity (which while it sounds good, and goes well with #1, I'd probably need more than I can get). So I think I will ask about this today at Firstborn's appointment (her doctor is a family practice doctor).

Other things I am going to ask about:
Rash control: Firstborn does not have diaper rash, but she does have heat rash (the doctor suggested baby powder before, which is working on these most of the time) and another dry rash, mostly on the legs but somewhat on the arms, which I am attributing to the type of detergent I bought a while ago. I've stopped using that detergent on her clothes, and was treating the rash with lotion but am now using baby oil. It's getting better, but I suspect it's more the change in detergent than the oil instead of lotion.

Talking: I'm not really concerned about this, but Firstborn makes up her own sounds rather than using sounds that will facilitate speaking in English. She isn't combining vowels and consonants; few of her sounds qualify as either, but she is proficient and growling, buzzing, squealing, clucking, coughing (yes, on purpose) and trilling. I figure this isn't really a problem because she is learning new sounds and adding them to her repertoire, but the baby books say she ought to be saying things like da-da-da and ga-ga-ga and ma-ma-ma by now.

Solids: The child refuses to eat anything which is not pureed. I can get her to eat a little, but she clearly finds any sort of chunk repulsive and once she figures out that's what she's going to keep getting, she refuses to continue. I got her to eat a piece of rice cake she'd soaked in apple juice today (~4 bites) and some of my homemade baby food (sweet potatoes and rice) but she would not eat the whole bowl. Normally Firstborn loves rice, apple juice, and sweet potatoes, warm or cold, so the issue has to be texture. I'd love to keep making my own baby food, assuming I can make the time for it, but if the baby won't eat it, it won't save money.

Today's sign of pregnancy: Stupid tests, give me the right answer!

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4 Comments:

Blogger jonash said...

In regards to talking, I waited until my son was 2yo to hear "Mama!" He would pick up a word for about a week, then lose it like he'd never said it. Forget talking by a year!

If he were someone else's child, I think he would have been in therapy. I just gave him time. Now he is my chatterbox and his vocab is GREAT! I'm glad I didn't stress out about it. :)

Hope you get your hormones figured out. On a board I frequent, there was a discussion recently about how eating out of plastic, meat, milk and even beauty products can throw your estrogen out of wack. I didn't know that! Just wanted to throw that idea out there as food for thought!

Ashley
www.homesteadblogger.com/Jonash2004

11:26 AM  
Blogger Young Christian Woman said...

Well, I don't have to worry about beauty products.....

I am pretty sure this is something that has to do with the way my body functions, not outside influences. I had depression as long as I remember, which went away a month or so after Firstborn's conception and has just come back.

I'm not worried about Firstborn talking, really, and I don't plan on putting her in therapy. None of the concerns I brought up about her are problems. However, her percentile for weight keeps going down. I mentioned it to the nurse, who said that she looked fine and the chart must be wrong. Yeah. I mentioned it to the doctor, and she looked: Firstborn is now 19th, last time was 26th, before that was 33rd, before that was 42nd.... or something like that. So she's going back for weighing in a month, although the doctor thought it was mostly increased mobility and more foods other than breastmilk.

The doctor was going to speak to my doctor, and I have an appointment. I might go on drugs before the appointment. They said the drugs would be fine while breastfeeding, and fine if I conceived--but they also said they'd "wean me off" them if I did conceive. So I would definitely at least be talking to the pharmacist and asking a lot more questions before I take anything.

I don't really stress much. Even the weight thing, my theory is that she is going from birth-size (pretty much determined by me) to the percentile she will be in through childhood, which may be low if she takes after Daddy.

But as I understand, percentiles steadily going down is something they look out for. So I'm kind of disturbed that the medical professionals didn't catch it.

4:30 AM  
Blogger Milehimama said...

Hi,
Thanks for your comments on my blog!

I've been there with the depression - it can be brutal. If you are interested in natural supplements that may help and are safe for pregnant/nursing, let me know, okay?
Also - these sites:RX List and www.whatmeds.com are great places to look up info on side effects, pregnancy data, etc. for yourself.

The rash - sometimes lotions with lanolin or scent in them can make it worse. Baby oil is good, and so is Crisco, believe it or not! I swear by plain old vaseline for diaper rashes, too.

How old is your baby? Every baby learns to talk differently. The fact that she is making lots of different noises is a great sign! We recently started speech therapy for my 22 month old - but he could only make ONE consonant sound and did not talk at all. Not even 'bye-bye'. I can't wait to hear "mama" from him!

Lots of babies pick up skills in "shifts". One week, they'll work on rolling over and all babbling will take a back seat. Later, they'll talk non-stop, but not make so much progress with crawling, etc. It's like they are putting all of their focus on doing ONE thing and learnin it well!

Hang in there.

9:28 PM  
Blogger MoDLin said...

There is nothing wrong with getting some help from meds if depression is something you face. Good for you for asking about it. There are safe meds out there while you breastfeed and during pregnancy, so do what you need to do, for you and for the little ones.

2:14 PM  

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