More on the baby

Firstborn is now working on pulling up (although she seems to have quit for a while after falling and hitting her head each time--low pain tolerance).

We are working on clapping--she can slap mommy's hands but not clap her own.

She has started sharing some--she will offer me what she is playing with occasionally, I will take it, and then I will give it back (or trade). Sometimes she will give it back again. She's just so precious, and I get so much joy from just watching her and thinking about her.

It is a great thing to be happy. Now that I know what it's like, I am going to try to hold on to it. And with that sweet baby girl around, it won't be hard.

Firstborn is growing so quickly. At nine months, she's outgrown half her 6-9 month clothes and some of her 9-12m pants, and can wear some 18 month pants. I had to buy her new clothes (that was a fun shopping trip). I had to go to the toddler section instead of the infant section. She's growing so fast! It really is a little bittersweet; I so hope I will be going through all this again (and again... and again... and again...)

Oh, and she's definitely scooting forward now. Right now, in fact, to pull on my keyboard wire.

Firstborn's words

Since I posted about Firstborn not doing "real" babbling, she spent most of yesterday evening saying dada and this morning made a sound starting with k when she saw kitty for the second time. (Last time it was "kee" and this time it was k'gha or something). I really wasn't worried, but now she's doing great. She is also starting to get into fingerfoods (though still not big on being spoonfed anything with chunks). She's been sitting in the high chair while we eat dinner at the table. Two days ago she got a frozen sweet potato French fry, a cooked one, and a piece of rice cake. She highly enjoyed mangling her French fries and even ate some of them. Last night she had six peas and a piece of rice cake. Much to my surprise, she ate most of her rice cake and at least two peas (though she hasn't liked pureed peas and hadn't eaten her rice cake previously). Since the rashes have been toning down now that I'm using All instead of store brand detergent, I'm pretty sure that was the cause of the worst of it.

The odd thing--which I noticed and no one else would have if I hadn't pointed it out--is that she seems to lose 5-10 weight percentile points on their computerized growth chart each time. When I told the nurse, she said that since Firstborn looks fine the chart must be wrong (huh?). When I told the doctor, she said something to the effect that as long as she was staying in the same curve the percentile didn't matter. But when she looked at the chart, she started from today and went back: 19th, 26th, 33rd, 42nd.... and she did say it seemed odd. She mostly attributes it to increased mobility and decreased breastmilk, but that only explains this month. Again, I'm not real worried; she is gaining, eating, and has rolls on her arms and legs (but not a fat tummy or face). But we are going back in a month for a weigh-in, just to keep an eye on it. My personal theory is that her birthweight has to do more with my genetics, but her size as she gets older has to do with her own genetics--so if she is small she may be like her daddy, who is smaller than his younger brother in all their pictures after 3 years old (but you wouldn't know it now). Her height fluctuates between 60 and 40, probably depending on when she hits growth spurts.

I have an appointment for me scheduled next month too. They might even prescribe something beforehand. They said it was fine to be on them while breastfeeding. I asked if it would be okay for the baby if I conceived, but then also said they'd take me off it if I did. Hmm. I will talk more with either my doctor or my pharmacist before I take it, and I won't take it if it might harm my children. I still think pregnancy is the best cure, and if I had more confidence I could get pregnant I probably wouldn't bother with medications.

Milehimama--I am one of those people who doesn't really trust modern medicine, but doesn't really trust herbs either. But give me the information, and I will at least discuss it with the doctor, especially if the drugs they recommend aren't really safe.

Thanks all for commenting.

Depression

I can tell I am starting to get depressed again.

The good thing is that I can tell. I am completely aware that it is some sort of hormonal thing. Before, I was depressed for a reason, and that could have been a part of it. Now, I am so in love with my new baby and my wonderful husband that almost nothing in my life could be better. I am happy. Sometimes I am just full of joy, and it's a wonderful feeling, and I don't want to lose it. But that depression is creeping back again, and honestly, if it's just a hormonal imbalance, I have no problem, theologically, with treating it. Now I know how I feel when I am not depressed, so I am not afraid of changing who I am.

So maybe I should get some sort of evaluation? Should I be on drugs? If all I need is some sort of drugs to make my hormones work, that wouldn't be a danger to a baby, I would think. My other options include: 1. Getting pregnant again (and if it were that easy, I would be); or 2. Lots of feel-good-horomone-releasing activity (which while it sounds good, and goes well with #1, I'd probably need more than I can get). So I think I will ask about this today at Firstborn's appointment (her doctor is a family practice doctor).

Other things I am going to ask about:
Rash control: Firstborn does not have diaper rash, but she does have heat rash (the doctor suggested baby powder before, which is working on these most of the time) and another dry rash, mostly on the legs but somewhat on the arms, which I am attributing to the type of detergent I bought a while ago. I've stopped using that detergent on her clothes, and was treating the rash with lotion but am now using baby oil. It's getting better, but I suspect it's more the change in detergent than the oil instead of lotion.

Talking: I'm not really concerned about this, but Firstborn makes up her own sounds rather than using sounds that will facilitate speaking in English. She isn't combining vowels and consonants; few of her sounds qualify as either, but she is proficient and growling, buzzing, squealing, clucking, coughing (yes, on purpose) and trilling. I figure this isn't really a problem because she is learning new sounds and adding them to her repertoire, but the baby books say she ought to be saying things like da-da-da and ga-ga-ga and ma-ma-ma by now.

Solids: The child refuses to eat anything which is not pureed. I can get her to eat a little, but she clearly finds any sort of chunk repulsive and once she figures out that's what she's going to keep getting, she refuses to continue. I got her to eat a piece of rice cake she'd soaked in apple juice today (~4 bites) and some of my homemade baby food (sweet potatoes and rice) but she would not eat the whole bowl. Normally Firstborn loves rice, apple juice, and sweet potatoes, warm or cold, so the issue has to be texture. I'd love to keep making my own baby food, assuming I can make the time for it, but if the baby won't eat it, it won't save money.

Today's sign of pregnancy: Stupid tests, give me the right answer!